Dear M, I'm sorry but I'm gone.
Nothing could beat the level of strong love to you in the past but I'll only stay when you are in the same with me.
We could talk again when you are free in Dec, but right now I need to focus on my life.
Just in case you are up with ego again, I hope you remember those I wrote for you were real, time issue.
As if you ever needed me, you know I cant get rid of you. Stay well. Luv, J.
Friday, 5 Sep 2008 08:00
想不到“給我一點時間”就變成了“再見”。
好吧，親愛的朋友，妳好好保重吧。
我不會生氣，只不過是可惜和心疼罷了。
希望我們還會有下集吧。。。
Saturday, 6 Sep 2008 10:07
I miss you.
You know I can't never leave you.
It's more like a self-healing time that I need to clear my mind.
Please read my blogs.
I thought it could be easy, but you just left me in queries for too long and wonder if you ever care.
Saturday, 6 Sep 2008 10:09
It's OK, J.
You are right that I don't have enough time to show my care for you now.
That's why I have to agree with you now.
We will wait for good timing....
Saturday, 6 Sep 2008 10:24
Before anything actually ends, before if it would ever come back for second episode...
I want to most stupid answer even it is the hurtful one, can I?
Do you love me at all?
Has it been my own fantasy or you do feel it real like I do?
No matter what's your answer, I wish you perform well and I care of you as ever.
Saturday, 6 Sep 2008 10:36
I think you can't afford to be weak right now, so I'm not here to talk to you unless you need me. I choose to wait and believe what I want to believe.
I know one day you will proof it to me for right or wrong.
But maybe it wont come at all.
No matter how I need to grow up instead of hanging here.
Saturday, 6 Sep 2008 11:03
My answer is same as yours.
You could never imagine how much I love you and want you.
I worried you may made this kind of decision,
that's why I wanted to talk to you in person,
that's why I wanted to see you in person...
To show how real and how true all these are...
Too bad I'm still too late.
You should stop sms me, because if your finance is hurt, then real damage has been done...
I read our Utopia almost everyday...
I'm not gone, I'm just waiting here, as always forever.
Saturday, 6 Sep 2008 11:13
If what we feel/everything is same and real,
you should know that I'll never be gone.
Just like you wouldnt, would you?
I want to see you stay till the last and performing at the greatest of yours,
like you are in my life.
I thought I should be gone instead of bothering you.
If you need me, you know I can never be gone, do you?
Saturday, 6 Sep 2008 11:17
風雨山雲都回來了，所有一切都歸零。
我以為是小雨為我傳愛，原來我倆才是過客。
可是我深信咱的未來，就算不在今生，也會在天堂相遇的。
愛妳的M.
Saturday, 6 Sep 2008 22:31
I'm reading the book you mentioned whole afternoon and being in love with your sms/words again.
I can never get rid of you at all :)
Love you and can't wait to see your words/email again.
Tell me you need me and I'll be here - thought you know it.
Love you much.
I'm still online in midnight and thought I could find miracles.
Saturday, 6 Sep 2008 22:58
That's a good book.
The mother of positive influence is a book called The Science of Getting Rich.
If you like it, I strongly recommend you read this too.
Sunday, 7 Sep 2008 00:12
I'm not interested in getting rich, more on finding out how to stay and get into your mind. Tried to leave you a voice mail but failed.
Miss you right now.
Sunday, 7 Sep 2008 00:27
I read Utopia every moment I could... if you post it up there, I will read them.
You should do everything you like to do... including writing anything and asking all sort of questions...
I love reading your blogs, emails, and enjoy all the questions you asked.
Why would you feel hurt if I wasn't in love as much as you do at that particular time?
Why would you want to hold such a hurtful past feeling when current is great and all?
Should we all treasure what we have now?
I have feelings that roll here and there too...
If not too much to ask, I love Utopia... please keep posting there if not too much trouble...
I love you.. and will miss you
Sunday, 7 Sep 2008 000:47
你是否就是那位不表達、不主動、全神貫注、永遠冷靜的男人？
你是否就是那位P永遠感覺不到你的存在，卻想盡了她認為最好的方法想把你留住的丈夫？
你是否就是那位永遠不回來的人？
我好害怕，再也見不到你了
因為當初把P和我留下的，是一位熱情、細心、萬般呵護的情深男人。
今天，P和我同坐在一條遙遙不著岸的船上
等的是
有一天
他會回來
看我一眼
不言一語
把我繼續浸透在他那源源不斷的愛潮裡
可是如果真有那麼一天的話
事實將是殘酷的
因為P和我
將永遠不能同時存活在他身上、心裡
而最終無論他或P有怎樣的決擇
我的命運
都是個不歸路的悲哀
從一開始這就注定了是一條直行的單程路
我選擇了放下這完美的幸福人生而上路
就是我自己愛上了舔嘗自己的哀痛的不歸路。
即使你真的回來了
我們也沒有永遠了
因為這一切都是痛多於甜吧？
就像我的黑咖啡一樣。。。
請說，你需要我罷。
請說，你要我罷。
請說，我必需留下罷。
因為我愛你，超越了你我能想像的程度了
原來我除了愛你，就別無選擇了
請你別讓我走吧。。。
因為我在黑暗中遇見你
而你就我永遠的掌佗了。
與其同時我竟然忍不住選擇了要繼續保留這些讓人難受的思想
並選擇了傷害這可能是很無辜的你
就像我竟然傷害了我的幸福生活模式一樣
我此等不長進的人啊
你的留言也透露過了
我們該珍惜完美而非過去。
我的行動為得只想要你說出我存在的價值
這些是你懂了不愛說？
還是你跟本不懂、不願說？
如果我們的相知相惜不是個錯的話，
你就知道了我有多麼地需要你了。
但你同時讓我想起了他
總是安慰我說快樂平穩的日子快來了
而我總是感受不了。。。
因為我不期盼那比喻懶惰的日子
因為我最想的是和你一同度過喜怒哀樂來完成我們的人生
你怎麼就聽不懂？
我愛你
我開始想像我們見面的時刻
就像你預期的一樣
有一天你我也許會妒忌了。
風兒不是說過有一種叫不占據的愛麼？
還是我倆跟本輕視了自己還有愛的能力。
原來到處為人訴說描揮愛的我
一直都是紙上談兵。
你為何要我把我們今天這些讓人看了難過的短訊寫出來了呢？
在你給我期盼你會回來的同時，我卻在這自憐自哀，把等我的床邊放涼了許久。
我恨你
把我完全的掌握了
讓我忘了我們的相遇相知相惜的時光
告訴我你和我一樣討厭這樣的我吧
教我要如何愛你吧
我一定能做到的
請你揮一揮手上魔術棒吧
告訴我我的愛傷害到你了
那是我最不願意看見的
然後我就會乖乖地看書去
等你去。。。
不如你就永永願願地
摟著我叫我住口吧
那我就會乖乖的永遠努力地跟隨著你的腳步
我想念你
和那些天南地北到甜蜜的凌晨滋味。
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