I wonder

i din let go, not give up, no stop and didn't wanna stop.  my answer is the same, irrelevant to me.  all those u write is only what u think and those are the part I said I don't agree with what u said.  so there is no way I can answer that nor should I as you already limit and expect something ... from me who totally do no see things the way u wrote.  i didn't say u r wrong, i said its wrong description.  perhaps its time u read 'slowly' and try to get it right the first time, get it the way I write it, instead of repeating reading something I wrote and still get it wrong ( not the way I was sending out the msg ) ... 

24 September 2008   1117  

I miss our old days.  It has been almost two months.  In fact, it was a really short while... 

No matter what you are doing right now, I wish you get to read this and feel happy when you read this, because I wish to let you know that I feel differently now...  I agree to a lot of your points; the thing we seem bad now, might not be bad afterall; and about the self seeking, Im daunting now, it could be really frightening which i had no fear in the past... ; and about the... 

I wonder when would you come to see the difference.  Or you never will...

I wonder if i should tell you my date of arrival.   I wonder if I should just come and go in my  trip without telling you about it.  I wonder if I should only tell you on the spot and be flexible for you could come or not.  I wonder if you will attend the date.  I wonder which date is the best date.  I wonder if you like what I have planned.  I wonder if you want it such a way.  I wonder if I should make you attend the date cos Im hurting P by doing so.  I had a lot of planning for this date earlier on, but today, I only wish to meet you for a meal, thats all about it.  By doing so, I guess I can face P without any guilts, although I will not meet her at all.  

And, I wonder, if you are still around for me.  And then I too wonder, if you are still around, am i capable to want what you can offer afterall?  I wonder.

I know you will reply by giving me a full surprise, including not reply at all, which will not be an answer that I wanted to have, as we always think differently... 

As last, i wonder if this is going to be another blog post that I write for a record and in later days i wish i hadnt written.